Thought Flow

I have a feeling that life is going to be good for right now but may not stay that way. I've been through a lot in the last few years. Many HAPPY moments that stand out and make me smile along with some very LOW moments that when I think about it I want to cry. I recently was writing about the last few weeks of my life and stated that I wish I could cry all of the tears right now so that in the future when I really should be crying I wouldn't be so everyone that thinks I'm strong will continue to see me as such and I will feel strong as a result. Why do I feel such a pressure to be the person that people look to only in times of need?

I know the experiences I have been going through cannot be pinpointed on any one thing or reason as to why, and I'll be damned if I allow any of it to stop allowing me to love and be loved. I only wish it would not be happening to those that I love. I need to figure out how to accept that life is life regardless of prayers, wishes, hopes and dreams. It can be cruel and beautiful at the same time and I am always learning to appreciate what is around me. I'll focus on finding a balance within myself that will get me to where I am going wherever that may be.

I love you mom and hope you know that despite our different opinions at
times that I will continue to support, love and care for you!

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1 comment:

  1. MelOctober 21, 2009 at 9:51 PM

    Hey There,
    I love that you're blogging, and I love that you're real. Life seems to throw stuff at us, and I don't think we'll ever really know why until we're up in Heaven...watching our lives play out before us and then we'll gain a full understanding of it all. Sometimes life makes us cry, and I don't think it's a sign of weakness. In recent years I have found it to be a sign of strength. To keep going even when the woes of life beat us down. To show emotion, and our humanity...a value the world no longer seems to care about. Kim, people look to you for strength because you are strong. Even if on the inside you feel you are not. And sometimes, you can't be the strong one, and someone else must fill that role and support you and uphold you at those times...and that is the beauty of love.

    Hope that wasn't too long...I care for you very much, even if we're not as close as we once were. have a wonderful day :)

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